Feature
Grey Matters.
Success. Your brain. And, fine wine.
A Mind-Altering Interview with America's Inc. Shrink, Dr. Kevin Fleming
By Todd Nordstrom
Founder of BizRibbon.com
 This article begins with a fine half-glass of Cabernet that changed my life. Ironically, it wasn't until Dr. Kevin Fleming ordered me a second half-glass, that I began to see the full potential of our conversation — and see that I was actually dumb enough to engage.
Why would I, a guy who has built a career culling the minds of the motivational masters, sit face-to-face with one of the nation's most controversial brain-shrinkers?
Hey, I'm just an average guy who's trying to figure out how to accomplish something great too — something profound, and something relevant. I'm trying to figure out where to leave my mark in the dirt. And, simply because you're reading this article, stumbling through my jargon and wondering when you're going to reap all the answers to life's biggest questions, I can safely assume that we share something in common. I am just like you. Our commonality derives from the fact that we're both still trying to figure out how to become great-how to truly live the American Dream.
So, why did subject myself to Mr. Hyper-Shrink? Did I want Dr. Fleming to change my mind? Did I want him to motivate me to greatness? Or, did I want him to tell me I was wrong, why I haven't become great, or that I'm just another bumbling motivational junkie who doesn't "get it"?
Was I looking for straightforward advice instead of motivation? Did I want to face the definition of "real"? And, what exactly is the American Dream?
There, sitting in a toasty little Italian restaurant, downtown Jackson, Wyoming, and watching the snowflakes meander past the frosted windows, I knew I had bumped into something extraordinary — it was my future, no matter how much it would hurt to see the truth.
See, I, like you, am curious to find out why some leaders make leadership look so effortless — why some successful people make success look so effortless. I'm curious, like you, as to how some people seem to empower others beyond the confines of expected performance — almost hypnotizing them into a perverse "groupie" state of worship. But, most of all, I'm fascinated by people who simply seem to "get it" — transforming their ideas into action with little resistance. And, I think I can safely say that I, like you, am intrigued by people who stomp through the world like giants, inspire others to join them, and unconditionally lend their strengths to the betterment of every life they touch.
So, when Dr. Kevin Fleming, a guy known to America's CEO's as The Inc. Shrink told me there was more to success, leadership, achieving relevance, and living the American Dream than I could possibly imagine, I listened. But, then he threw something at me that I didn't expect-psychobabble that actually made sense.
"The way you think it is, isn't," he said. "There are millions of Americans hopped-up on brain chemistry and delusions that they understand how to succeed, achieve, dream, and accomplish, yet every couple of months they're digging into some new motivational theory that simply leads them to more failure, more disappointment, and a devastating self-perception."
Of course, when Dr. Fleming said those words, I begged for explanation in the most eloquent way I knew possible. "Huh?"
Dr. Fleming, typical of what we all might perceive as "expected lingo" from a clinical psychologist, uses complex language-sometimes twisting the mind into places and positions that, at least in my case, risk sprain. And, although I've been blessed with an uncanny ability to "dumb-down" the most cumbersome rhetoric, I still found myself baffled by some of his words-even though I knew that conceptually everything he said to me was making more sense than the current reality in which my mind operated.
Our conversation continued. Dr. Fleming ordered more wine. And, as we spoke, I realized that even though I didn't understand everything Fleming was saying, I did understand that if he was right, and if he could shrink an average joe-shmoe like me into understanding, then I was sitting on a goldmine that could answer all our questions-and end the ridiculous cycle of consistently searching for motivation, consistently reaching for satisfaction, and continually fooling ourselves into believing that we've made our lives better simply because we're inspired.
Dr. Fleming and I parted that evening with a hand-shake-and a promise to continue our conversation.
Life went back to normal for me. I spend my days interviewing some of the most respected players in business for articles for BizRibbon.com-and, I'm pretty picky about finding players who offer hard, useable, and actionable content. Yet, every time I reflected on my own life, career, and personal progress, I would recall the half-buzzed conversation I had with The Inc. Shrink. And, I would wonder if I was in fact moving forward.
The phone conversations between Dr. Fleming and I continued after that initial meeting. Yes, there was a second, a third, and a fourth conversation-each time with an invitation from Dr. Fleming to come back to Jackson to spend a day with him-so we "could go climbing up a mountain" as put it-a mountain of truth, I assume.
Of course, with each conversation, I graciously accepted his invitation to meet-then hung up the phone, saddened by the fact that I thought I was two busy at the time to squeeze another face-to-face meeting-or a mountain climbing expedition, for that matter, into my hectic schedule.
Yet, with each and every contact, I continued to gain a greater insight into how and why Dr. Kevin Fleming had earned such a recognizable and somewhat controversial reputation-he's charismatically blunt. He doesn't pull punches. And, each time we engaged in conversation, the truth about Dr. Kevin Fleming, and the truth about me seeped dangerously closer to comprehension-that we're all junkies for motivation, instead of the truth. He's a junkie. I'm a junkie. And, quite possibly, we're all sitting in the same boat-paddling upstream to catch a buzz.
Is motivation and inspiration a drug? Are we feeding an addiction to feel 'high' on empowerment? Or, do we really want to create change in our lives?
I gotta admit-I was intrigued by Dr. Fleming. This is a guy that consults with many of the World's top CEO's. He's twisting the grey matter of the "biggest dogs" in corporate America. He specializes in executive change. Of course I was interested in learning more. But, when? I'm busy reaching for my American Dream. And, I thought I was getting closer to wrapping my fingers around it. But, it kept slipping...
Are we as a population not acknowledging the truth about reality-the truth about success? Are there secrets being withheld? Or, are we all living in a state of denial-blocking out the realities of life, business, and relationships that are too difficult to digest? How many of us saw the signs of economic downfall, but still kept trudging forward as if we didn't want to acknowledge the truth? How many of us repeat the same actions daily, even though the pain or our existence-our jobs, life situations, fears, and dreams never change? Have we committed to losing weight, finding success, or taking that trip around the world, yet still find ourselves wearing the exact same pant size, making the exact same income, and standing in the exact same spot?
I bumbled through my own life's conflicted schedule, hoping I could live in denial a bit longer before I was forced to sweat through change. I have three young children, a wife who deserves more of my attention, a fast-paced and high-stress career, a commitment to marathon training, and the promotion of my previous books. Yet, I didn't want to change-to lose that glorious haze. And, I continued wondering when I would find time to return to Jackson-a reunion I considered to be so mind-altering that the thought of it had become almost intimidating.
"At some point, if you want to succeed, you must cash-in on your god-given right to see the truth," said Fleming. He paused and ended that conversation with a haunting fragment, "Until then…"
When is "then"? Am I ready today? Are you? Does the needle have to exert a certain level of pain before we move?
What do you, the reader, think?
To learn more about Dr. Kevin Fleming, go to: www.greymattersintl.com
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